Interests:Living life, long walks across the country, listening to rockin bands, playing guitar, beltin out some tunes, playing ultimate frisbee, playing pranks on people that I love, comedy- even though I really am not very funny...lol- i try, Pro-life works of Jesus to save babies, reading the Bible, trying not to sin, driving in the Chastinator- my beloved Car that is filled with pro-life and Chastity bumper stickers- its so awesome, reding lots of crazy books! And my top interest is To LOVE JESUS- the lover of my soul!! Jesus rocks my world! Jesus es mi casa muchacho!! Expertise:I like to think that I am a professional sleeper, as well as a professional Taster of Life! Life is so rockin! I also like to think that I am a pretty good walker- especially after walking across the Country! lol!
It has been a while.... as you can see. My life has been evolving and my love for Christ has been ever-growing. This semester presented me with many struggles, some that have yet to be fully played out.... but, I know that God is in charge. God has given me many struggles and in turn, given me countless opportunities to drop the sins of my heart and follow Him. I cannot tell you how many times I have cried this semester, and I am not talking about a few tears, but full out sobbing. (I know, I am a girl, but this is no excuse.) I have had many experiences and hardships this semester, more than any other, which has led to much sadness and discomfort. But, through it all God has been there.
I now am able to see everything so clearly. God has been sitting in waiting for me. He has not forgotten me, but truly has been loving me. As Christ said as he was dying on the Cross:
"My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" (Mt. 27:47, Ps. 22)
Our first instinct is to think that God has forgotten Christ, and also in turn has forgotten us. But, after reading this and studying it.... we realize that it is actually a Todah Psalm, a psalm of Thanksgiving. Christ is thanking his Father and Praising Him... he uses words that are actually of Hope and of Promise. God is amazing and is constantly doing amazing things in our lives. We must not always look just on the outside of what is happening, but we must not be afraid to look deep within the truth of the Love that God has for us. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a side note: I am pretty much in LOVE with The Office. Yes, I know. I am not one for loads of TV and this show proposed little excitement for me, but once again- it is not always what is on the surface, we must sometimes look deep within. I find it simply HILARIOUS! If you have not had the opportunity to share in the joy that The Office offers, check it out at: www.fanpop.com
I am sure that many of you have heard of the Superchick song called "Beauty from Pain". This is a song that has become a major part of my life in the past year since I first heard it. It was a song that really summed up everything I was feeling when I went to Austria in the Spring, as I was not originally wanting to answer God's call for me to go. I wanted to stay with my family and my friends, and in my own Country. When I got there, I had a hard time adjusting. Everyone was AMAZING, but I still was not close to many people and was having a hard time being away from the people that I love the most. But, it is amazing for me to look back today and see how God brought such beauty from the pain.
A few weeks ago, we had an Austria reunion and it was there that I realized how blessed my time was in Austria. I am amazed at the exact people that God chose to go Spring '06... we were all so different yet, God brought us together into a little family of God's children! I love it! I am so blessed to have gotten to know everyone who was there with me and I will always haave a special place in my heart for each of them!
Then, here I am again. Another semester, another struggle. God seems to just keep on stretching me in ways that I never imagined! Oh how blessed I am. I returned here and to my surprise, I was not as happy as I thought I would be. Things always seem to change. Many friends have graduated, Professors have left and everything in my life here at FUS seems to have taken a crazy turn. I am taking 18 credit hours, I am vice-President of Students for Life, I am working, going to Mass and still trying to have time for my Spiritual life and growth. Oh my! What a crazy world. My best friend Katrina is engaged and so is my other friend Lindsey, which means that we must allow time for wedding planning (come on, we are girls!!! love it!), also I have two weddings to attend this semester and TONS of other events. I have been so overwhelmed! But, God is transforming me.
I have come to learn that even though I am going through alot and have tons going on, God is working in me. He wants to spend time with each of us, in the quiet of our hearts- even when we are overwhelmed and crazy busy. I have had many moments of learning to let things go this week, and also taking time for my friends and family. God is good. God never lets me down.... He is THE MAN! I have come to a greater love for Christ and our Blessed Mother, as I must continue to rely on them for guidence and their love. I have come to realize how truly blessed I am to be at Franciscan, with the people that are here and the community of this place, I need to take it while I have it! FUS will not be my whole life forever.
I am so in love with everything that God is doing in my life. I have seen the pain that I have in my life, the struggles, the stresses, the heartaches.... but, I am so truly blessed to be where I am and be with who I am. I love my life, my friends, Our Blessed Mama, and My Jesus! I am truly blessed!
"After all this has passed, I still will remain. After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain. Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again, and there'll be Beauty from the Pain."
"In the light of the sun, is there anyone?
Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said...
You don't know me,
you don't even care,
She said
You don't know me,
you don't wear my chains...
Essential yet appealed,
carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you...
they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you." ~Boston by Augustana
(This is for you MY STAND TRUE CREW: www.standtrue.com)
My thoughts are carrying me away as of late. I heard this song today
and it made me think of all the people that I love so much, yet rarely
see. Oh how my heart aches and yearns to be in so many places with so
many people all at once.
All I want is to be with people that understand me, people that love
me, people that laugh at my jokes- even when they aren't that funny,
people that cherish me, people that tell me that I am beautiful, people
that give me meaning and people that help me to feel God's presence and
to know that I am exactly where He wants me to be. But, then I
realize..... GOD IS! God is MY BOSTON!
God is..... the Almighty, the Omega, the ALL in all, My King, My
Savior, My Everything, My World, My Life, My breath.... He is all I
will ever need. God created me for something so much more than I
realize. All I want is to be Christ for these people that I wander
through everyday. I sometimes can't figure out why I have turned out
how I am.... and all these other people are so lost and broken. I am
NOTHING but, God makes me everything. How did I get so blessed. I
really do not know.
Oh Lord, Help me to be all that you created me to be.
Things continue to speed away. My heart is at a place right now of such
trial and hardship. It has been a huge Spiritual Battle.... as I was
living in such a holy and beautiful place with my beautiful faithful
friends in a holy Monastery and now to come back to a world of such
corruption. Oh my, Oh my.
The last few days were filled with hardship. Most of the time I feel so
alone here. Everyone that I have around me are not fully faithful
people and they struggle. Everyone.... my old friends, most of my
family, bosses, fellow workers.... everyone. This has just brought so
much hardship in my life, as I must bear all of their struggles and
strive to change the World. God has given me so much strength and I
have offered EVERYTHING to Him.... all my trials, hardships and
sufferings. Oh ABBA, you never cease to amaze me. I find myself on a
daily basis getting in debates and discussions. It has been a HUGE
blessing, because I love the opportunity to discuss issues of the faith
and talk about Jesus. I am so blessed, truly I am.
Yesterday though was extremely tough. I woke up (exausted)... I find
with all of these trials, I am restless and my body is exausted. Not
only am I working two jobs (hard work), I am also going through HUGE
spiritual battles daily. Yesterday I had a LONG day at both jobs.....
then at both- I had HUGE opportunities to talk to people about the
faith. Once people find out that I am Catholic and that I am actually
studying My Faith... It boggles their mind. I guess that people of all
faiths are not used to anyone actually studying Theology or actually
studying what they believe in. I realized that I had been greatly
sheltered, as most of my friends both Catholic and Christian, are
really into studying what they believe and LIVING IT! Oh how I am
blessed to have their wonderful examples.
One of my managers actually told me that all Catholics and Christians
don't even know what their faith teaches about Marriage and the
Sacrament/Covenant. OH MY BUDDY! Did I let him have it..... I almost
started laughing and explained that I just finished a whole semester of
a "Christian Marriage" course. I told him that he could ask me anything
and I would discuss it with him. So, while we were cleaning.... I had
this HUGE Philosophical discussion about Marriage with him, in front of
the whole staff of the Resturant and I took down all of their
misconceptions and thoughts. lol. Oh my.... I even explained Natural
Family Planning and Contraception to him. Let me tell you, it was
HILARIOUS! God has a good sense of humor.... He Must! And this was
right after this young girl of 16 years of age kept making all these
crude sexual jokes (NOT FUNNY).... wrong idea girly!
But, God is so good. Please keep me in your prayers! I am nothing but
blessed with everything! God knows how He wants to stretch me this
summer and prepare me for all that is to come.
Also, please pray for a friend of mine and her friend. I spent a long
time on the phone with her the other night because she has a friend who
is pregnant and wants to have an abortion..... I cried for HOURS......
I talked to her for a while and am working hard with God's help to save
this baby! PRAY FOR THIS YOUNG GIRL AND HER CHILD! I will keep you
updated. I called her baby "Sarah"- I spiritually adopted her, so
please adopt her too and pray for her! God bless you!
Oh my, how things change. In the last 6 months- my world has been turned upside down, I have experienced another huge conversion, I travelled all over Europe and I seemed to have found myself somewhere in this mix. It seems that my World has been transparent to the world, so they knew exactly how to tear me apart- well, this is NO MORE. I am done, I throw the towel in, I want a life so much greater than that.... so, I say again.... bring it on.
I want to live the life of a Saint. I want to be holy and righteous in Christ's sight. I know that the road to Christ is often paved with sorrow, pain and suffering.... but this is what I want and this is what I need. I can take this pain, for I know that God will bless every moment and turn it into something beautiful. This past semester I have visited the sites where many Saints lived, where Pope JPII grew up, and where there have been various apparitions of Mary, the Mother of God. This has brought me into much debate, thought and contemplation. I cannot tell you of all the things that I experienced, maybe someday I will write more in depths of my experiences on here- but I can tell you that each and every moment brought me to great belief and love of the Father. How can I not believe? Each moment brought me into a greater communion with Christ and greater belief and love of my faith. I wish that I could share only an ounce of this with you.
All good things sometimes come to an end. Well, I am home. Though I have not changed, the World around me has. Since I have returned, I have been hired at two different restaurants.... oh my. I am a busy girl. But it seems that my life has been under HUGE spiritual attack. Things are no longer how they were for the last few months.... no longer am I covered by the comfort of a beautiful and faithful holy community. I have been thrown back into the World. Now, I refuse to reform to the ways of the World..... in fact, I refuse. Please pray for me to have the strength to perservere. It will be a long few months for sure. I pray that God will send some faithful and amazing people back into my life.
